I spent a lifetime of trying to manage and control situations, people and life outcomes. As a construction project manager it seemed the right thing to do.
It was only in my later years that I learned that there was a better way.
I had to learn to be curious, to be quiet and to listen.
Everybody has a voice and needs to be heard.
The logic around trying to fix problems with an apparent solution is often unappreciated and unsustainable, unless the underlying emotions or hurt feelings have been addressed.
Most people know what solution will work for them. It just takes time to unpack it and identify a preferred course of action or outcomes.
It is with this journey of self discovery that I offer my assistance and collaboration.
I have been in the construction industry most of my life and enjoy the creative processes and logic to complete a successful commercial or home renovation project.
However I have discovered that I really enjoy being a coach and help guide the emotional journey in human relationship conflict management. Coming alongside individuals to help guide a conversation that empower all parties to be heard.
To help move past a conflict by creating possibility for mutual understanding and respect.
To be bold and open to understand our deeper emotions as a strength and not a weakness.
To consider a different perspective and point of view that might have different outcomes.
I have formal training as a Conflict Resolution Mediator, Negotiator and Coach through the comprehensive training program at Justice Institute of BC, Canada.
It is however the practice of speaking with people and listening deeper to hear their story and help guide healing that really excites me.
Helping move away from the anger, fear, hurt and frustration to discover new possibilities and a new future is often very rewarding.
I am also trained and experienced in eldercare, ranging from accessibility and fall prevention to conversations about end of life, care planning and mid life to end end life transition planning.
Helping to address and normalize conversations that might be too sensitive or to uncomfortable. Especially where terminal illness or imminent death is a real possibility.
Lawyers often use Mediation to create a safe space where parties can be heard and explore the outcomes they hope to attain. Past hurt or anger sometimes clouds parties judgment and they get stuck on very specific desired outcomes with not much room to consider a possible different perspective or outcome.
Chronic emotional disputes often results in a polarization of relationships that can become very toxic or adversarial. Anger, revenge, distrust can really frustrate a more rational outcome of events. I help clients understand the bigger picture and long term impact that this conflict might have on them and the people they care about. I do not necessarily assume the role as mediator, but as a coach and a guide to help identify key obstacles and move the dispute towards a more collaborative resolution.
This often results in a less emotional and more rational client experience and expediting the legal process significantly by creating a climate of understanding and respect.
I am of the opinion that staying accountable to each other is the key to positive sustained change in behaviour. Promoting interdependence, confidence, resilience and ultimately independence.
Our complementary weekly or bi weekly micro check- in using WhatsApp or text help build trust and encouragement to stay focused and accountable to each other on the journey.
My services are specifically related to implementing practical behavioural or situational changes that can be beneficial to a client in going forward. I am not a clinical counsellor, doctor or a lawyer and will always refer clients to get medical, legal, emotional or psychiatric support elsewhere.
NoRegret is a Green Star Mobility Inc. project
NoRegret helps individuals manage the bigger obstacles in relationships, life, grief or death.
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